Let all preachers remember this morning the Duke of Edinburgh’s wise words concerning his famous dislike of sermons that go on too long: “The mind cannot absorb what the backside cannot endure!” pic.twitter.com/I2fQ9FYUvW
— Peter Anthony (@FrPeterAnthony) April 11, 2021
— ❤️ Jameela Jamil ❤️ She/Her ❤️ (@jameelajamil) April 11, 2021
The clock on the National Congress Building in Bolivia runs anticlockwise.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 11, 2021
Line of Duty, only it’s me and @RachelGardnerRA trying to root out false teachers in trendy churches.
— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) April 11, 2021
Come on TBN, show us the money.
I planted some courgette seeds six days ago and frankly they need to calm the fuck down. pic.twitter.com/3hLmgXICl2
— cluedont (@cluedont) April 11, 2021
Right fine and now I’m supposed to be able to sleep #LineOfDuty
— Geth (@GethincJones) April 11, 2021
The plot thickens… pic.twitter.com/noGnKTBlIi
— Justin Lanier (@j_lanier) April 10, 2021
It’s 2050. Hastings wallboard of deceased undercover officers now covers all 4 walls of the office, Ryan Pilkington is Home Secretary, and we’re still no closer to finding out who H is #LineOfDuty pic.twitter.com/4kY9iwVxRa
— Adam B (@brim90) April 11, 2021
Tell me this isn't the actual FBI. #PrinceAndrew pic.twitter.com/5O7upy6iSy
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) April 11, 2021
As a mark of respect for Prince Philip, National Rail have made their employees unable to read the National Rail timetable pic.twitter.com/yyl7OXbF5L
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 12, 2021
2021: "Dare you to snow now beer gardens are open"
— innocent drinks (@innocent) April 12, 2021
UK Weather: "Okay go on then lol"
2021: "Omg I can't believe you did that. You're savage."
Sorry for the spoiler #LineOfDuty fans. pic.twitter.com/xpoaq3ppxZ
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 12, 2021
56% of Americans believe "Arabic numerals" should not be taught in schools.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 12, 2021
After university tutors are told marking down bad spelling and grammar is ‘elitist’, mathematicians suggest scrapping the numbering system as it's too hierarchical.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 12, 2021
#LineOfDuty really needs an Apprentice: You're Fired / Bake Off Extra Slice type show…
— Vicky Walker (@vicky_walker) April 11, 2021
Make a movie about the TA who had to teach 90% of Indiana Jones’ classes.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 12, 2021
MARRY HIM https://t.co/VqBNARTyPD
— Greg James (@gregjames) April 12, 2021
87% of Ian Fleming’s Bond books mention scrambled eggs.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 12, 2021
If the vaccines do have microchips made by Bill Gates in them then they would have needed at least 17 windows updates by now.
— Dave (@davechannel) April 13, 2021
If I had a time machine, I'd use it to go back in time and convince Steve Jobs to name his company, 'Banana'. Or 'Guava'. I wouldn't invest in it, but every time I used my Banana (or Guava) product I'd think, 'I named that'.
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) April 13, 2021
This is fantastic from @Tesco – a full page advert in @thetimes. Thank you 👏 Nice to see how some big companies can behave…. pic.twitter.com/5qZX4Hzpi7
— Charlie Gilkes (@charliegilkes) April 12, 2021
Johnson and Johnson clots genuine cause for concern, confirm all their exes. pic.twitter.com/ul10rYT6vW
— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 14, 2021
I have pressed EVERY SINGLE BUTTON online that says “Accept Cookies” and yet? Nothing!
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 13, 2021
My favourite criticism of Alex Scott getting the Football Focus gig (which she will be great at) is that "she didn't play at the highest level", as if Dan Walker took off his shin pads after his last England hattrick and walked straight to the studios.
— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) April 14, 2021
Not everyone feels the same about #lockdown easing. Your feelings might be all over the place right now. That’s OK. It’s normal.
— Ranj Singh (@DrRanj) April 12, 2021
Take it one step at a time. You got this ❤️ pic.twitter.com/Src3MEP6WE
"Everything that wasn't invented by God was invented by an engineer."
— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) April 14, 2021
The Duke of Edinburgh was a great advocate for engineers, and in a 2015 article for @newscientist he wrote of the huge contribution engineers make to our everyday lives. Read it here: https://t.co/mnqArIctQJ
Private Eye are the only news outlet brave enough to say what no one else will at this point pic.twitter.com/VSUvwVVgS2
— Lottie Lewis (@LottieHistory) April 14, 2021
I’ve got too many books to read as it is so I’ve struck back by buying four more books, the last thing they were expecting. YOUR MOVE, BOOKS.
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) April 14, 2021
How many sides DOES a banana have? @MrMikeWozniak #Taskmaster pic.twitter.com/eh7gpymeG9
— Taskmaster (@taskmaster) April 15, 2021
FIRST BREXIT, THEN A PANDEMIC, NOW THIS?! GIVE US A BREAK FOR THE SAKE OF FUCK. https://t.co/CUDzluUpUu
— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) April 16, 2021
Hang on, we don't know that the dinosaurs had any flesh. We only have evidence of bones.
— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) April 15, 2021
Have you ever been dragged out of somewhere in disgrace by your irate mother? pic.twitter.com/JDYWJouzIN
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) April 15, 2021
has this been done pic.twitter.com/u3LyNU3ECG
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) April 16, 2021
If the Duke really wanted no fuss as Huw Edward keeps on saying, the BBC have very much let him down.
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 16, 2021
Someone once told me JRR Tolkien’s name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien and I laugh out loud every time I remember
— kevin zabihi (@ZabihiKevin) April 16, 2021
I bought some boots on the internet. Now the internet keeps on offering me boots, not realising that the last thing I presently need is boots. I'm starting to think all this anxiety about Artificial Intelligence eventually taking over the world is bollocks.
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 16, 2021
I think of this often. Internet advertising is like an overly benevolent granny – if you make the slightest passing remark about quite liking something, that is what you get served up every time you go visit…
— Ed Lane (@edjlane) April 16, 2021
Gardening assistant of the day. pic.twitter.com/oaw8IqIFss
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) April 17, 2021
absolutely not paying that https://t.co/RZCrzfb3Ix
— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) April 16, 2021
— Daniel Mays 🇺🇦💙 (@DanielMays9) April 16, 2021
While Health Secretary I forgot to mention my sister was director of a company which was awarded a lucrative NHS contract pic.twitter.com/BpVJcScpfh
— Toby Earle 🇺🇦 Threads tobyontv (@TobyonTV) April 16, 2021
If your country looks like this, you don’t need to worry about the J&J blood clots pic.twitter.com/0Z2Veok7Og
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) April 16, 2021
Waitrose sues ALDI over Colin the Caterpillar
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 15, 2021
Tesco's Curly the Caterpillar, Morrison's Morris the Caterpillar and Asda's Clyde the Caterpillar: pic.twitter.com/tdBgQfq4lA
Frank Skinner talking about prayer with @SeanFletcherTV Full interview Sun on @BBCOne at 1.15pm and @BBCScotland at 2.30pm then https://t.co/xcra1gLPZ3 30 days in the UK. #SongsOfPraise pic.twitter.com/OBSE07MbkB
— BBC Songs of Praise (@BBCSoP) April 16, 2021
Peter Phillips in central midfield is never gonna work, should have gone with a 4 4 2 pic.twitter.com/08fD8o2PRI
— Paul Legacy Fan YNWA* (@ThothYnwa) April 17, 2021
I don’t know why M&S are getting so upset with Aldi over the caterpillar cake. If you leave the cake for a couple of weeks then it’s no longer an issue anyway. pic.twitter.com/3HDpAEVAYs
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 17, 2021
Our legal team’s search history right now pic.twitter.com/V8TP914VZs
— Lidl Ireland (@lidl_ireland) April 16, 2021
I think we now know why @AlexHorne hasn’t said yes to @OffMenuOfficial yet.
— No Context Horne Section (@NCHornesection) April 16, 2021
He anticipated all of this. pic.twitter.com/jU7w2fULSw
An #EmiratesFACup journey to be proud of 😇
— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) April 17, 2021
Take a look back at #SaintsFC's story so far 👇 pic.twitter.com/0JMrggAbAj
The council will decide your fate pic.twitter.com/dvnU4tTy95
— Steven (@bagelboi21) April 16, 2021
Sincerely hope the C of E is going to start putting Prince Philip’s stated churchmanship as an option on its curacy selection forms. pic.twitter.com/7kAqrWqnNu
— Fergus Butler-Gallie (@_F_B_G_) April 17, 2021
You should really know all this, guys. https://t.co/IFdAANY58W
— Jake Lambert (@jakelambertcom) April 17, 2021
As someone who buried their mother in a pandemic, I can tell you there is some comfort in being able to hide behind a mask.
— Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes) April 17, 2021
I think some of today’s images stand not just for the funeral of a man but for the aberrant loneliness caused by Covid for many. pic.twitter.com/RdM9RTVeCZ
— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) April 17, 2021
#PrincePhilipFuneral pic.twitter.com/6HNTdZpWiQ
— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) April 17, 2021
I hope they're all looking after the Queen now. Was so sad to see her by herself, as so many people have had to be over the last year.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 17, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?